the ugliest word

I'm not fine with it. i'm not. not at all. i'm freaking out.
how could my parents move away from me?
I've been holding it in all this time and i can't anymore. i just cant do it.its not fair. i want them back.
i want them to come closer. why?
I cant stop crying.

last night daniel told me that he was sick of being around me like this. and it really hurt.

 this is the first time i've cried over this. i hurt so much i can't stand it.
I'm so alone. and i hate daniel for what he said.
alone. its just an ugly word.
I'v  got to stop crying. right now. okay? man up. you haven't cried all summer about this and now look at you, weeping like a baby.

I hate him right now. i feel like i can't turn to him. I feel like i did with logan. maybe this is it. maybe i should just end it.

"How can the world go back to the way it was"
~ samwise

i feel so helpless. i cant even stop my teeth from chattering. i'm not cold.

i hate him so much right now. i can't even turn to him because if i do he's just going to hate me for it. what kind of boyfriend is that? who tells a girl that when shes on her period he thinks of breaking up with her? who says that??


 what good are stuffed animals? i mean really. balto, what good are you? nothing! good for nothing. you fix nothing.
I'm sorry balto, i'm sorry. you're not useless. i still love you.