Crumpling

the die is cast.
hah.
get it.
cast?

the castlist is posted
and i strung a noose
dying to see my name

frantically searching
eyes scanning
nothing.

the play is set
I'm not
a part.
of it.

if it doesn't matter
then why do i feel
like i'm crumpling?



I didn't get a part. theatre is such a part of my life. I can't believe it. I'm angry. and I wish I wasn't. why is this so difficult for me? its like getting turned down when you ask someone to marry you. its crushing. and i don't know why. why?
dang it. I didn't realize i was so invested.
this frustrates me.
I don't want to want to be a part of this play so badly.
oh well. se la vie, right?
la vie.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
i am.
i am.
i am.