Sleepless Sleep

~Insanity~

This is me, being me

This is darkness, surrounding

This is you, holding me

This is madness, taunting

This is you, wanting me

This is nightmares, wanting

This is me, losing me

This is my insanity

How is it that i theoretically slept all night but i wake up and feel like I haven't even been to bed? I know that i woke up at like six and then kept waking up after that, but its incredibly frustrating. I had nightmares that are all crazy and jumbled. Bryan Carswell was in it, as was Lindsey Zayas-Bazan. I'm shaking again. My body can't keep doing this. I feel glazed. I feel like I'm floating. I don't have blood in my veins. weightless. I can't stop clenching my teeth. I'm mashing them together as hard as I can. and I can't stop. I'm so tense. The tension is the only thing that reminds me that I'm real

I want Daniel, but I don't. I want him to come and hold me and I want to sleep all this away. But I don't want to see Daniel because then I will want to be happy. I can't do that right now. I fear that I'm always talking about how messed up my mind is.

One of these days he is going to realize that I am a disaster. and he'll try to fix me. and I'll hate him for it and then I'll break his heart.

~Frozen~

Tubes of thin ice blue

snake underneath my skin

frosty numb, they ache

But there is no blood in my veins

No pulse jumps under my thumb

Clenching my teeth, cramping my jaw

Mind bobs like a balloon on a string

A whisper makes my throat fee raw

I'm floating, light, Arctic cold

my eyes roll in my head

I can't feel the earth around me

Am I alive or am I dead?