Excuse my language, but what the hell? Every time you see that boy, you go wild. When he kisses you its like electricity shoots through your veins. You are feeding me feelings that I have never felt before. Kissing wasn't fun. Its never been. Its something that you do in order to get the guy to let you alone.
"She was trying to use the only weapon she had—her desirability. This is what a punished dog feels, this abject longing, wretchedness, fear and utter helplessness. She lay on the edge of nausea, stretched between hatred and lust… It is unthinkable to be held by force”
~Obasan by Joy Kogawa
Thats how you have always felt about physical stuff.
Yet now, when Daniel so much as runs his fingers down your arm, you go crazy. Its like a switch has been flipped and the callous, unfeeling girl is gone. Its not fair. my walls, my boundaries, my ability to think, analyze, critique, all have vanished. Its all because of you, I know it.
My stomach knots up until it is almost painful.
What is it about that guy?
I melt when I see him. When i feel his eyes on me, instead of feeling disgusted, I feel a surge of joy that I am his girlfriend, that he wants me, that its me he loves.
I want so badly for him to find me beautiful. And its obvious that he does.
I can get him hard so fast. Its easy. yet instead of being calculated and bored with it, it thrills me. When we're kissing and I feel him get hard against my hips I lose it. You, Feelings, absolutely have a conniption. Its like fireworks go off inside. All at once heat rushes through my body like a flood, a tidal wave.
I love you, but could you tone it down a little?
ren
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