Another letter to brandon

Brandon, again,
Get out of my nightmares. you have no place in them. Even in my dreams Daniel can take you. So out, out. you are freaking me out.
tonight i dreamed that we were in atlanta together again. it was my birthday again. you were there, stretching into infinity of my birthdays, always there. like the freaking phantom of the opera. except that comparison is too good for you. in the dream you were just waiting, down at my kitchen table, just waiting, hanging out as though you did this all the time. so casual. so relaxed. i was hiding upstairs under the pretense of getting ready. but i was afraid to come down. i kept trying to make myself uglier but it wasn't working. i felt freaked out by my own beauty and i felt i had to mar it somehow so you wouldn't want me. but no matter what i did, you were still down there. i feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Now its almost four a.m. and I'm wide awake.
You bastard. I'm pissed at you for what you've done. You've made me so afraid. You've infiltrated my dreams and wedged yourself into my life that way. I want to just let this go, but how can I with you in my face every night?
Do you have any idea how much i resent and despise you? probably not. though you know that i've called the cops on you. and i think you know that if you come around campus again that you'll be dragged into court about it.
You probably hate me. I hope you do. recent facebook posts would give another idea. but I ignore those. surely you can't still like me. surely. if you do, that is completely your fault. i have been nothing but plain that this is over. forever.  i hope you've stopped dreaming otherwise.
Get the fuck away from me. I don't want you. i never will. stop dreaming. it won't happen.
even the thought of my ex fiance is a comfort compared to you. i would rather go back to the guy who hit me with a belt, than you, robert brandon jones. i would rather go back to scott, the man who i at least loved once, if not anymore, than go near you. so you can just fuck off.
bye.