Well, i got a job. whew. Life is better. i am working at chickfila. I start next friday.
In other news, Daniel and I are good.
In other other news, I am going to start trying to get into better shape again. I figure if I start now, then maybe by the fall i will be. Because i've started noticing that my pants are too tight again. which sucks. Thus, I'm cutting out my midnight cookout runs and starting to watch what i eat. I figure that can't hurt. and then maybe i'll take up crunches and pushups and stuff again. we'll see.
I dont know if this is a good thing. I know that i am close to wanting to restrict what I eat and starve myself again. I am starting to get cravings for that light-headed dizzy feeling. But at the same time, I can't just keep gaining weight. There has got to be a healthy way to do this. I can do this. I think.

spinning white ice
freezes my brain
cold seeps through my veins

flashing white spots
blur my vision
Hungry and filled with tension

Trying not to eat
fills my day
fills more more than food anyway

I had a salad and some chicken for lunch. I'll eat something with carbs for dinner. Plus I had some mellow yellow which wasn't really a good choice, calories wise but i was so sleepy. I was thinking that also it will get easier to eat well when i am choosing what it is that i want to eat. I can buy food and make it myself this summer. yay! I will eat turkey bacon and pasta and graham crackers and nutella and carrots. All manner of good foods that i can't get here at school.

But also this summer i want to do some more reading and working on my books and writing.

Books are a place of discovery
reaching inside the words
we discover

Books are a thing of magic
transporting us to worlds
we explore