a step too far

Daniel and i had a serious talk.
we talked about how either he's here, waiting on me or how he leaves like he wants to and I end up waiting on him.
and how both ways this seems bad.
but then we got to talking further and he was like "if i just knew that we were gonna get married"and i was like, "yeah that would simplify things" and he was like "this isn't a proposal, but do you wanna plan on marrying me?" and i was like "yes."

then my insides freaked out.

I've done this before, the hopeless couple who are doomed to seperate and decide to get married instead of seperating. only this time, i'm old enough to do just that.
whoa.

so i don't know. he talks like he may officially propose sometime in the fall.
whoa.

I know, right? i have no idea what I'm doing. i want to take a step back but i don't know how.


"I'm in every kind of trouble 
Can't you tell, just look at me 
Half ecstatic,half dejected... 


Easy terms I thought I wanted 
Fill me now with chilling dread 
You could never know the chaos 
Of a life turned on it's head...


did i take a step to far?"
~aida 


Is this a step too far? what am I doing?


"I am certain that i love him
but a love can be misplaced"
~Aida